Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
