My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
