new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
