Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You can't just leave with hair like that
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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