Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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