just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I believe in your delicious
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
