There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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