I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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