And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
