Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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