so that wasnt chicken after all
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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