I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
