Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
