JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
