Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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