it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
