okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I party with great urgency now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
