I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
