i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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