What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
