Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
