Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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