So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
