Sponge bath it is.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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