My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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