Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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