i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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