I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
