he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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