saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
