Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
