kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
