My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
