no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
