This girl is more easily done than said...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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