I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
