We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
