We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
