Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
