sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
