Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
