i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
