therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
