My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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