Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
