Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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