Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
