he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
