He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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