To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
